Happy New year
Posted at 04:16 PM

im home now so i can read everyones tabulas.. Happy new Year...
thats about it i will tell u lot the rest in person..
bye for now hooked readers..
and may the force be with u..

Merry Christmas
Posted at 01:42 PM

Hi everyone and merry christmas..
I can't say very much because im at my grandparents and the only reason i got on this computer is because im in an elctrical shop and my grandad is queing for a new hard drive...
well i hope u all got what u wanted for chrsitmas and when i get back i want to hear all about it....
MERRY CHRISTMAS...
bye for now hooked readers...
and may the force be with you...

Just Lately..
Posted at 05:58 PM

I went to the cinema with Tommy, Bimpe, Callum and David and we were goin to see blade trinity(originally). When we got there Bimpe said that she had to get home by 6 30 so that ment that we couldnt see blade trnity. And when me and Callum said that we have seen it and that we didnt really want to see it again, Tomy got really stressed saying "Its not just about u to its about us aswell because we have come aswell". And i thought that was a bit over the top because he was grounded and wasnt ment to be coming (no offense Tommy i still love u really). Then we went Pizza Hut , then after that me and Callum got on a bus and went to his house. When we got there we played on the x-box on halo 2( it rocks even though Callumn beat everyone ever single time) and then we watched tv untill 11 45 and then went to bed.When i went to bed Callum came and kicked all his crap on the floor out of the way, threw a matress a manky sleeping bag and a skanky pillow for me to sleep on. When i say the pillow is skanky i mean it, it was brown for god sake. But anyway we had to get up at 9, so we went downstairs and then had breakfast and played more halo 2 and then we left for my house at 1 45. When we left we went and got a bus pass and then went to wait for a 161 to take us to woolich but it didnt come for 30 mins so we decided to catch the 286 and then the 178 which we did. When we was waiting for the 178 we talked about stuff and then we talked about the whole Emily thing. The way she is always nasty to Ben even when he is being nice. And the way she played off of Callum and Tommy at the same time. And her fancying whoever Jess fancys and everything else. So finnaly we decided that we shouldnt ever talk about it again coz its really stupid. So we caught the 178 to woolwich and then had to wait 15 mins in the freexin cold to get a 180 or 177. When the bus came we decided to get the 177 because we couldnt see a 180. When we got on it went one stop and there were 2 180s behind us. So we got off at the next stop and then we had to run all the way down this massive road to catch it. When we got back we realised that Callum had the metroid prime 2 disc in his gamecube so that ment that he just had the case for it. So we just played windwaker for ages and then went and played vampire night. When it came for time to go to bed Me and Callum were in our room and Ben came in to talk to us which was ok. But when me and Callum said we should really go to bed Ben didnt listen and wouldnt leave my room and i got so pissed off in the end i dragged him out of my room and so im still annoyed at him even though im being nice to him.
Thats all for now bye hooked readers...
and may the forse be with u...

My convo with Jeffster again
Posted at 07:13 PM

Well it explains itself really...
I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change !!!!!-- is me and...Jeffster83--is Jefster obviously...

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

hey

jeffster83 says:

hi Sam

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never
change!!!!! says:

hi how are u then

jeffster83 says:
very well, thanks. just had a fun weekend with my wife and children

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

kool

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

have u read my new tabulas entries im entering every day or so now so read it ok

jeffster83 says:

yes, I read it a few minutes ago. You plan to run away from home, skipping from one house to another among your friends, so Mac can't track you down. Why do you think he will try to track you down?

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

because of my mum being worried and she will get so stressed and he will want to stop her being worried

jeffster83 says:

ah

jeffster83 says:

will you take Ben with you?

jeffster83 says:

or rather, will Ben go with you?

jeffster83 says:

< jeff just realized he said that wrong >

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

i would make sure that i only took him if i had to because i can risk myself and everything i have but if i did it to ben and something happened to him i could never forgive myself...

jeffster83 says:

if you keep attending school, MAc can probably find you there. But then your Mum could also find you there and would know you were all right.

jeffster83 says:

H mmm if you and Ben are like this: /\ like you said last week, wouldn't it be better for both of you to split? If somehting bad is going to happen, it iwll happen to you both. Or it could happen to you and not him.

jeffster83 says:

< jeff is trying not to speak of Ben as though he were much younger and smaller than Sam, but as though he were equal, but it is difficult not to slip into that way of thinging >

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

i know but i would make sure tha if they ever found me at school that because i was onmy own i would go and find a secret hidden place which i have found and hide and let ben be safe

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

but if he did go with me i would make sure he was out of sight first so that if any of us got caught it owuld be me and not him

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:
because oftherwise i would be responsible and i would feel guilty

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

but me and ben are ok with each other now mostly anyways

jeffster83 says:

that's good that you are OK now

jeffster83 says:

do you know for sure that your friends would let you stay at their houses? And that's the problem with having two people on the run: you need two spare cots

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

my mate harry said it was fine and tommy said i could for a day every few weeks but other than that it would just be everyday just find somewhere to go really

jeffster83 says:

living on the street in the winter is pretty grim. and if you went to a homeless shelter, they would call the police because you aren't adults. Unless you two look like you are 18 ... do you?

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

nope

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

and i would never live on the street

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

if it was just me then i would make ben tell me everything that he heard from home so that i knew what they were thinkin about where i was..... so if they didnt know where i wa sthen i wouldnt have to move form harrys

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

but if i did i have tommy callum mabee, (kiera , hannah(i love her but she doesnt know), Bimpe but that is only if they would let me and i wouldnt push them into anything

jeffster83 says:

could you spend nights away, but stop by during the day when MAc is at work, so you can shower and eat?

jeffster83 says:

If Hannah sees your nickname on MSN Messenger, she knows

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

well hannah dosnt have my msn or a comp yet so im ok until after christmas

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

and yes i would do that but that is only if mum would let me leave again

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

and i would pack all my stuff in that time too so that everything is there ready to go

jeffster83 says:

it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your plan

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

yep

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

been on my mind for weeks

jeffster83 says:

so. If you tell the police that Mac beats you, that would upset your Mum. If you run away, that would upset your Mum. If you stay at home and take the beating, how does your Mum feel about that?

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

he doesnt beat us anymore

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

and i have no proof anyways

jeffster83 says:

oh. Then why do you want to run away?

jeffster83 says:

Did I miss something when I read your blog? All this time I thought it was cos of the child abuse

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

nope it was coz of them always moaning at me and i cant take bein depressed all the time because of it

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

and he is the most annoyin prick in the universe so u know

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

sorry about the language

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

you know what i mean now

jeffster83 says:

nah. the language doesn't bother me. Feel free to say any kind of filthy word you have to say

jeffster83 says:

Although, and I don't mean to detract from your problem, there are a million other 14 yr olds in the world who will tell you that their dad, not your stepdad, is the most annoying prick in the universe. I have two not-nephews whose father, I dare say, could give Mac a run for his money in being a total dipwad to his children. (and yes, I know you are not Mac's child)

jeffster83 says:

My children will be 14 in a few years, and I expect to become the most annoying prick in the Universe aroudn that same time, even though I don't think I behave as badly as Richard or Mac.

jeffster83 says:

I am not blaming you

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

i know not all parents are but its just some,,,,, my mate harry thinks his day is really cool and really like hanging around with him so u know

jeffster83 says:

from what I've heard about MAc from other poeple (Tommy and them) you have a legitimate complaint against him as well as a 14-yr-old's complaint

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

i know that my problems arent the biggest in teh world but that is how it seems to me and that is how i feel about it and that is the last resort in any case because if i was to do that it would be final no turning back just that is it

jeffster83 says:

well, that's good that you have that perspective. You are more mature than some kids who are 16. I live near a wealthy area, so I hear about kids from Newport Harbor High School who moan and complain that their parents gave them a used Mercedes-Benz for Christmas instead of a new one, and that they only get to spend a week in Cancún instead of two weeks. THose kids really ought to get out and see

jeffster83 says:

see more of the world.

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

i know

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

but i know that i am goin to have to experiance some severe depression around thsis place before i actually pack and leave because if i do it then it would be the end of that part of my life with my own family all the time

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

so i geuss that i wont actually have any reason to get packed until at least next year after christmas definately

jeffster83 says:

ah

jeffster83 says:

this secret of Ben's that he mentions in his blog: do you know it

jeffster83 says:

??

jeffster83 says:

don't tell me it. I just wonder if he told you

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

no i dont know it

jeffster83 says:

ah ok

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

i need to talk to my grandparents about my plan because i promise dthem i wouldnt run away so i would have to explain my reasons and let them deside what they think... i really value their judgement respect and love so if they said no i probebly wouldnt unless it was dier emergencies

jeffster83 says:

and they won't tell your parents? Are these your maternal or paternal grandparents?

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

yeah they are meturnal grandparents

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

they would never tell my mum and they have been more like parents to me over all the time of my life (it has been very fucked up more than once) so i would go with what they said over anyone else really

jeffster83 says:

ah. Does Ben feel the same way about them? Maybe he should tell them his secret. They seem like safe poeple to tell.

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

yeah he does feel the same way .. and he probebly will but if he doesnt he wont tell anyone for a while untill he is sure in himself that he si ready to tell people

jeffster83 says:

I hope his secret is not that he wants to kill himself. That's a bad one that he ought to tell right away so his friends can talk him out of it

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

he would never do that ever

I love Hannah and even though i have no chance that will never change!!!!! says:

it is probebly who he fancies or something like that nothing serious

jeffster83 says:

ah. Yes, that's all right then. Who cares whom he fancies? He'll fancy a hundred girls in the next couple years

Enter a comment on antghing that i have said...

Me and Running Away
Posted at 05:19 PM

Well first of all im not sure if i am yet its only if things dont improve right now. And dont get scared about where i will go or anything i have been thinkin about it for weeks now so i have sorted that i would go to Harrys and then move around a bit so that i dont get caught by mac coz if i did then all hell would break loose. i just want things to improve but if they dont i recon the last resort is packin my bags and runnin to harrys..I dont want to have to go but if i must i must...But if i go that will be almot definatly for good because if i wnet back mac would go mental and if he caught hwne i had gone it would be just as bad...
It probebly wont happen soon so dont worry and under no curcumstance anyone try and tell my parents that i am thinkin this because then that will make everything 10 times worse.
Dont worry about me though i will be fine...
Bye for now hooked readers..
And may the force be with u..